| Author | Message | ||
    Paarth Member Post Number: 6 Registered: 02-2009 |
Thanks Savio and Zhila for your comments and productive thoughts. Mark, I hope you maintain an open-mind for yourself as you may also have an "ah-ha" moment with regards to what I have said to you just as I have had many a times before in recent years with Billy's beautiful work and hope to continue to have in the future. I hope you see the point that implying to someone else "you must continue to evolve before you will understand my point of view" is neither productive, tactful, nor truthful in my understanding. In all sincerity, you may not be as "evolved" as you think you are. Best, Paarth | ||
Markcampbell Member Post Number: 128 Registered: 10-2008 |
Ouch ,Paarth , it looks like you have me there . It looks quite harsh when someone returns your words to you . If they were my words . It's not a quote from me . So , before you quote someone , make sure they actually said what you infer they said. Ok ,enough of that . What I meant was , and is : Quote THIS : " Learn about this teaching that didn't come from me and therefore cannot be considered my point of view . Within it you might learn that you can be responsible for your own dilemmas .Don't be a whiner " You simply do not see or hear or read yourself , my man . You really were starting to sound like a teenager with a broken heart .I'm pretty sure you got married too young , which is very common . Nothing you can do to change that. This is actually good medicine , like it or not . I am not auditioning for position of diplomat. Since you are a father , I still emphasize , and this is "my own point of view" . . man up . I regret that you would swat at the fly that buzzes your head when an older man shares a little bit of wisdom with you . Your pride sits on your head and taunts you , not me . Can you take the lesson , sir ? Welcome to the FIGU forum , I'm very glad that your'e here , actually . MC | ||
Paarth Member Post Number: 7 Registered: 02-2009 |
Mark, There are so many things to comment on regarding your posts that are untrue that it is difficult to know where to start. But i'll paraphrase very simply. 1) Age is in no way correlated with wisdom, nor does it correlate with understanding of the teachings. A true objective measure of understanding of truth is beyond your ability or mine. So in answer to your question "can you take the lesson, sir?" Not from you, as I have no confidence in your ability to deliver an effective lesson. 2) There is a well-documents psychiatric phenomena called "Projection"--look it up, your posts and reactions are a textbook example. 3) Having the last word doesnt make you correct. Regards and happy contemplating. Paarth | ||
Markcampbell Member Post Number: 129 Registered: 10-2008 |
Greetings Paarth ; To be honest , it's not an important issue , from me to you, or you to me . Of course , you have grounds for your view about my comments . But I gave you my time ; you didnt like what had to say , but then , when it comes to advice , we're not really looking for anything than what we want to hear . Again , neither point is made , but hopefully you get the inference whether direct or indirect regarding your play by play personal updates of your marriage , which is why we are going back and forth .Remember , it was not me complaning abut my marriage . I don't have an investment in this "interchange" , but you do . No offence to you and yours , but now you know that youre not on a relationship-repair-service website , even with a topic about relationships . So have a decent life , and I'm sorry that you have the opinion that I need to have the last word , because i really don't care .It's not an eg argument . Others have responded to you that were very polite , but Im sure that some of them at least agree in the premise in point which I have tried to make. Kind regards , Mark | ||
Paarth Member Post Number: 8 Registered: 02-2009 |
Mark, Warm regards to you, point taken and delivered, thanks. And thanks again to you all who found the time and empathy to write. The only way for me to feel most content would be to be able to give to others some good part of what I took away from my recent experience, like some of you recently did for my benefit. I look forward to that day. Paarth | ||
Markcampbell Member Post Number: 133 Registered: 10-2008 |
Hi Paarth ; Hold on to the good days , drink them in . Someday , all we will have is those memories . When you talk about kangaroos , kangaroos visit your dreams . Everything we see and hear becomes a part of our consciousness . I'm not really talking about kangaroos . oh .... tonight I'll be dreaming about kangaroos again . heck . Kind Regards , Mark | ||
Bianca New member Post Number: 1 Registered: 03-2009 |
Hello again, Would someone know if there is any info. from Billy regarding the issue of non marriage since so many people get married and some time later divorce. I know that at Figu some couples choose to work on their relationship without actually marrying but that's them whereas people out there cannot conceive the idea of simply living and evolving as equal partners without the official legal papers? Thanks Bianca | ||
Stephen_moore Member Post Number: 37 Registered: 01-2009 |
Hello Bianca In a interview with Mr Meier from Michael Horns video (The Silent Revolution of Truth) Billy talks about the relationship between a man and a woman, Marriage is not required in a personal relationship between a man and a woman, Only love, harmony, peace, truth etc. If two people do not decide to get married then its between the two people and there is nothing wrong with it. Hope this helps Thanks Asket: - The Creation is the basic foundation of life and all existence. In the force of The Creation, we fulfill our mission, which is not only of cosmic, but all-universal importance, because The Creation IS the life, and The Creation IS the existence | ||
J_rod7 Member Post Number: 718 Registered: 10-2007 |
*** Hello Bianca, Here are some interesting thoughts, words from Semjase, which have bearing on your question...: [ "Semjase says to Billy in the 41:st contact 31 December 1975(from W.Stevens translations book 2, p.114): [ “When two creatures live together as a unit, then differences of opinions necessarily arise. …… With us, like everywhere else, all creatures are different in their evolution, thus at no time do two of them meet together, two like-directed poles, which would mean a decrease and a shifting-off of the evolution. So always two different-oriented poles have to come together if an evolution is to progress. This means that these two poles constantly rub each other, by which two different opinions push together; in consequence of which, for purposes of evolution, differences in opinions have to appear. This is an irrevocable law of evolution, to which we as well as all other creatures in all universes are subjected.” ] An interesting point she makes here, is that the greater the POLARIZATION between the two in the relationship, is the greater growth in Spiritual Evolution occurs in each partner. By this, the "conflict" within the relationship, which many on Earth consider as "grounds-for-divorce," is actually a great learning opportunity for both partners. I have not found that Billy comments anywhere on couples living together "without the official legal papers." IMO, couples with equal valuation of one-another in a relationship, should be committed to one-another as those who do the "legal papers." By this, there is as much Love as any other union, with an equal chance for long-term success. My oldest Daughter is in such a relationship without the "papers," to which I have no objection since they are both happy together for many years now. You might try some additional searches at the website: http://www.theyfly.com In Peace *** You say you want an Evolution, well you know, we're all doing what we can. -(Beatles revamped) Rod | ||
Gaiawingz Member Post Number: 48 Registered: 01-2008 |
In response to the query of Billy about how one should answer the complex questions of a child, I offer the following: Quite simply, be honest. If you know the truth about the matter, then answer honestly and completely to the best of your capabilities. If you only know a little bit, then share your small bit of knowledge or what you know about the matter and also share with the child the fact that you are not entirely sure and maybe when they are ready they can study books written by other people who are more knowledgeable about the subjects (assuming they are unable to at the stage when they asked the question). Do not make things up. Do not lie. Do not mislead or deceive, for it will have a very negative effect on the child in the long-term. Always be honest. If you do not know, state that. And if you consistently cannot answer the questions which a child poses to you, then endeavor to study those matters and become knowledgeable about them so that you may answer the child's questions. Children respect those who tell them the truth, and they will learn when you do not tell them the truth, though it might take some time depending on their own brightness as well as how blatantly false the information they've been told is. Telling a child you do not know will not diminish their trust in you, but rather it will ultimately strengthen it because they will reach an age when they know that no one has all the answers to everything and so those people who have been honest with them from the start they will respect and trust all the more than those who they realize were manipulating them and lying to them. Also, be very aware before you have children about the responsibilities which it entails. Children require a huge amount of time and devotion and they must be educated according to their individual needs and style. It is hopeless to cram 30 children into one room and try to teach them all the same thing in the same way at the same time. A parent is responsible for providing adequately for their child in the physical as well as the emotional, psychological and educative realms. Do not take human life lightly. Being a parent means being a warden of the future, a guardian of the next generation and it means being responsible for another human being who, although born helpless and dependent, must always be recognized as an intelligent human being in its own right, a human being that needs nurtured and protected. In short, it's a very serious undertaking and not to be entered into lightly. Most people are unfit to be parents and should have respect enough for the future of the human race to recognize that they are better off not reproducing so that we might right this terrible situation that has taken root on Earth in bad parenting and overpopulation, the abuse of each successive generation to an increasing degree, etc. Respect children as human beings. Tell them the truth. Be honest. You will be rewarded with such unconditional love, trust and friendship if you simply do that. Also be consistent and gentle, but firm when it comes to consequences, for children need to feel secure and part of that security means that they must know where their boundaries are. Children must feel that they are looked after and protected, that they will not be allowed to sabotage themselves or hurt themselves and this sense of security comes from knowing that the rules are and from having consistent repercussions for their actions. This is why the children I am close to frequently make a point of asking me, 'you're in charge of me? You'll take care of me?' because they are neglected by their own mother and they like to reaffirm when they are with me that I am being responsible for them and I will keep them safe and pay attention to them, I will watch them and be sure that they are not endangered. A child whose parents consistently do this will not need to constantly ask and reaffirm that someone is taking care of them, they will have the security of knowing that at all times there is a responsible adult overseeing them and keeping them safe. Likewise, children who do not have this certainty frequently develop severe anxiety. There is a great deal more that could be said, but I wish to keep this brief and to the point about answering the questions which children ask us. In particular, I would suggest that people try to understand that the Universe (Creation, OM) is not an impersonal thing, and there does exist a memory of all that we ever said or thought or did, etc. even though when we die our personality ceases to evolve and slowly dissolves. As I have explained to a five year old boy, who admittedly is must more intelligent than the average five year old, when we die we no longer have any perception of I and our personality no longer evolves. It is rather like we cease to exist, but we really don't need to worry about that part because it is a natural thing and we won't be around to think about it and be anxious. Instead, we should simply focus on living our lives to the fullest that we can, to be the most complete human beings we can be. The boy understands that our spirit is essentially immortal and that there will always be a memory of every detail of our lives. If, as this boy did, a child responds to the concept of reincarnation by stating that they wish they could die so that their spirit could get a new body, then one should seriously examine that child's life and parents. Such a response is not the natural response of an unabused child. A child who grasps the concept of reincarnation and then states a desire to die and get a new body is expressing that they dislike their current life so much and they feel so helpless that the only thing they can think of to escape and make things better is to die and be born somewhere else. I explained to this boy what would happen if he died, and particularly that he would not know me and he would not have his sister or his other siblings with him if he died, and he decided that dying wasn't the right way to go about things after all, but it is clearly indicative of trouble and suffering when a child responds that way. Naturally, understanding reincarnation simply alleviates a child's natural anxiety about death because understanding reincarnation takes away the aspect of not knowing what to expect. Ignorance in children causes anxiety and fear. If a child has loose teeth, for instance, and is not told about what is happening to them (which actually occurred with this same boy!) then they grow anxious about the matter. Continuing to ignore it does not help them. Strange though it may seem to this boy's parents, when I showed him some pictures of other little boys who just lost their first teeth and when I explained about how he would get new teeth and they would stay with him for life, he calmed down immensely and then anticipated joyfully when his teeth would come out. Peace, - Gaia | ||
Gaiawingz Member Post Number: 51 Registered: 01-2008 |
Ramirez; Please do not confuse me with Dyson simply because he called his site gaiaguys. My name is Gaia, which is why my username is gaiawingz -- this because I once started my explorations of the internet with the username thetoadwings77 (for personal, humourous reasons) and changed it after a while to simply 'gaiawingz'. I respect what Dyson does, but I am in no way affiliated with him or his website. - I would not suggest that anyone should become immune to shock and disgust, or be insulated therefrom. It is entirely possible to contend with such matters and concepts as outlined in my previous post(s) without suffering a nervous breakdown, developing irrational angst, being frightened, etc. If one becomes immune to shock and disgust, at first you might think that they would be more capable of dealing with grotesque matters which turn the stomachs of the average Earthling -- but think about what it really entails for a human being to bear witness to rape, murder, debauchery, cannibalism, the torture of children, etc. and to not feel shock, to not feel disgust. I would think, to be honest, that in order to know about such heinous crimes and to not be disgusted by them, shocked by the sheer depravity which many humans exhibit, indicates a dangerous lack of empathy in a person. Being overwhelmed by the reality of such things is somewhat understandable. But to know about such things and not to feel indignant, outraged? To me, that indicates serious lack of empathy for the plight of another human being. Of course, to fully understand what I mean one must realize the difference between feelings and emotions. I am not advocating that humans become prey to their emotional outbursts and run about shrieking at and crusading against 'the bad guys'. Rather, I advocate paying attention to one's own thoughts and to how one is feeling, thinking about why one is feeling that way, etc. and so learning to control one's emotional outbursts. When I say one should be shocked and outraged, indignant about these matters, I do not mean that they should all become vigilantes or start petitioning this person and that person like mad. Rather, I advocate studying things in depth and learning about their true causes and how to correct the ills of society in the long-term. It's rather like when I have to deal with typical self-confessed 'tree-hugging, bunny-loving environmentalists' (who happen to have a whole bunch of kids that get emotionally, psychologically and frequently physically abused) who think they are good little lefty liberals doing their part to make the world a better place, when they don't acknowledge overpopulation. Now, when one gets down to it, overpopulation is the root cause of just about all the ills of humanity. It is the root cause of warfare, competition for resources, malnutrition, premature death due to diseases, prostitution, rape, murder, the abuse, exploitation and murder of children, the extinction of thousands of other native species of birds, insects, mammals, fish, etc. So what does one do about it? No one in the mainstream and few enough in the alternative classes of society want to hear the word overpopulation. They don't believe in it. It's not real. Evil people talk about that sort of stuff, no one good would ever advocate fewer people or control over who reproduces. Does one campaign individually against all these evils then? Who has the time? Who has the money? Most importantly, how the hell does anyone effectively raise awareness of an issue without addressing the root cause? I think the first step is learning to respect children. When I hear adults speak of how annoying children are, how much they hate them, or how much their children test them, push their limits, etc. I frankly want to smack them in the face just to get some sense into them that what they are saying is really quite wrong. Of course, I can't and I don't, but it consistently fills me with loathing for such individuals and for society in general because this has become the norm. When parents complain about their badly behaved children, they receive commiseration from other adults and fellow parents in practically all cases. I have never heard someone actually reply to one of these 'adults' -- hey, have you ever thought about what you've done wrong that might be causing the issues? Or when a parent dismisses the bouncing-off-the-walls behaviour of their child(ren) with the phrase, 'oh he/she just wants attention'. Hello! What is wrong with this, folks? Where do I even begin in dealing with such outrageous abuses against the most helpless class of humanity? Children are veritable slaves (I encourage anyone interested to check out www.eqi.org -- the man who writes it has some emotional issues of his own, but he's compiled a wealth of study cases) -- they belong to their parents and even if they are being repeatedly beaten and bloodied, having their bones broken, etc. it isn't always enough to get them taken away from their parents, so we hear about all these tragic children in the press. How many people are familiar with the term 'invalidation'? Does anyone want to guess how many hundreds of millions of children are emotionally abused and psychologically tortured by their parents either consciously or due to their sheer ineptitude in bringing up a child? It's not hard to tell! Look at the average individual on the streets today. Just look at them, see what you get out of their eyes. It's worse in the younger generations, especially those who are currently coming into adulthood who were born in the mid-late 80s and 90s. They all have their computers and their video games, their portable gadgets, their cell-phones, their televisions and whatnot. They are plugged in, quite literally, just about every moment of the day. No one does anything about emotional abuse, though. There aren't any laws that say you can't hit your child when you are angry, so if a parent happens to only lash out (spanking, belting, switching are all legal because a parent has a right to discipline their children, 'within reason' they say) when they are angry, they don't actually get in trouble. A parent striking a child out of personal anger and a malicious desire to cause their child pain and suffering is much different from a parent who occasionally must spank their children as a matter of consequence for very bad behaviour (not for simple mistakes like knocking something over which was fragile and breaking it), etc. Certainly, however, there are no laws about screaming on a daily basis, or about yelling at your children. Indeed, it is not illegal to tell your daughters when they are as young as 8 or 9 years old that they will never amount to anything but whores with their legs spread for whatever man they are with at the time. There are no laws against demeaning, belittling and emotionally torturing one's children. Indeed, there aren't any laws against a mother using her children as pawns of emotional warfare against their father, waging all out psychological assaults on them so that they reach a point where they have never been told, but have come to understand, that it is not remotely in their best interest to mention any positive or fun experiences they may have had with their father. Trips to the theatre, trips bowling, going to the park, playing tag, swinging, playing board games together at home, birthday presents, friends which were known from their father's neighborhood, etc. all completely banned so that three children aged 3, 5 and 7 could be made to feel guilty if they enjoyed their time with their father in the remotest bit, so they keep it hidden. There's nothing illegal about forcing children into leading dual lives like that, and these aren't, by far, the only children going through it. Borderline women should be sterilized. Yet there is nothing to be done about such 'parents'. Until adults re-learn to respect children, as they deserved to have been respected when they were children, as independent, individually-minded human beings, it will be very hard to do anything about overpopulation. I find that the root behind overpopulation is that most people are unwilling or incapable of admitting that they should not have children, or that they should not have had children -- they seem to think that one cannot judge another if one's made the mistake themselves. But really; are you going to tell a murderer, 'hey man, you don't have any room to comment' if he starts speaking out against murder and violence and trying to educate people about how wrong it is and the harm it causes? Of course not, it's common sense. Also, one is not stating that we should go back retroactively and abort all the people who are now around whose parents would not have qualified under the new guidelines, etc. That's an asinine approach, but it's ingrained in the thought-processes of so many humans. The wife of a doctor who once vaccinated people but has since learned how dangerous and questionable those vaccines are did the same thing at one point, 'oh no, you can't say anything about that because you were shooting people up with them too!' People make mistakes, learning from them and changing one's behaviour accordingly is the most important aspect. That said, only when adults respect children will they begin to truly and willfully consider the well-being of the child, and thus curb overpopulation. If one doesn't respect children, if one doesn't view them as individual, independent humans from the time they are born -- if, rather, one views children as any kind of an extension or an embodiment of oneself, one's ego, etc. or if one views children as one's own creation, then there will be serious issues and many backlashes from the masses against any who try to curb this issue. After all, who bothers to protect the rights of someone or something which they don't respect? One hears it all the time, 'I'm the parent', or 'well, they're her/his kids', etc. One doesn't hear, 'what does the little boy/girl think?' one does not hear, 'how are you doing today, what would you like to do?' Children need the attentive devotion of their mothers and the security of a strong, masculine father who is confident and gentle with them but firm and capable of educating them about the world around them. So, potential-parents on the whole really need to be more fully and properly educated before having their own children. Now think about the fact that most people in 'the real world' as they like to call it, if they even read this complete post, would scoff and disagree and many, many parents would simply think, 'oh but she/he doesn't -know- what it's like'. I do know what it's like. I know what children can be like at their worst and I know how they can be at their best, and yes, it takes effort to bring children up to their best, but it's the natural effort that traditionally comes with raising children. The effort is in being there, speaking to the children, looking after them, introducing them to the world around them as they grow. A mother's devotion and countless hours spent with her child is probably the most important aspect, with proper fathers being secondly-most important. Yes, it's time-consuming. Proper parents (and mothers especially) are on-call 24 hours a day for their children. They are patient and consistent and harmonious, they listen to their children and play with them and encourage their imagination, they teach them to read and write, to do their laundry, to express their emotions and be in control of their thoughts. Parents soothe their child's fears and educate them about the things they do not know. Gentle, consistent, firm, present and paying attention -- qualities of a good parent. Yeah right, think most people. After all, who ever had parents like that? Well, that's precisely the main problem. If we protected, cared for properly and appropriately educated children, then the problems which are so rampant would cease to be issues over the course of a few short generations. Those are my thoughts on the matter, which as usual tend to stretch out in an effort to be clear, concise and provide contextual examples of the behaviours which I very much detest. Peace; - Gaia | ||
Indi Member Post Number: 317 Registered: 06-2006 |
Gaia Re overpopulation and treatment of children and the root cause of evils etc..... I would think that it depends on from what perspective you are viewing it from. And, there is always more than one perspective, each with a validity and advantage of its own. I would offer that overpopulation is more a symptom of a greater issue - immaturity of consciousness and attendant awareness. This also applies to treatment of children and parenting skills. To address these issues at the symptom level, is only palliative although in some cases helpful to some degreee, can also interfere with addressing the root cause and therefore prolonging the condition. This is echoed in the treatments of modern medicine as well. One can view these issues from an individual case basis which is akin to an humanitarian perspective with limited outcome, or one can rise to a higher observation post, and see the whole thing and from that vantage point, one is looking at the issues in a more global sense. Having a more global perspective, does not mean that a person is not empathic to the sufferings that are before them. However, instead they would be able to take a step back, and look at finding solutions to it closer to the more important root cause. As time passes and we gain more experience in existence through coping and learning, our perspectives hopefully mature/change to be less about 'I' and more about 'we' - micro to macro, etc... Thinking from the 'I' perspective, will not solve overpopulation problems or parenting skills in the manner some would hope. Also, it is important to remember that the parents of today, were the children of yesterday! Robyn | ||
Gaiawingz Member Post Number: 52 Registered: 01-2008 |
Indi/Robyn; The root cause of 'immaturity of consciousness', as you put it, seems to be most directly related to one's childhood upbringing and education in one's most formative years. Lack of respect for children and the rights of children is the whole reason people have the inherent attitude that it is their right (instead of a privilege) to have as many children as they want to. Lack of respect for the rights of children is the whole reason no one thinks about the fact that it is abusive to children to allow them to be born unto inept 'parents' who neglect them (a form of child-abuse), who do not have the time of day to listen to them, who invalidate their feelings and experiences, who are domineering, controlling and manipulative, who blame their children for their shortcomings in life, etc. Coincidentally enough, virtually every known violent serial killer of women has had an abusive (physically or otherwise) relationship with their mother or mother-figure. Please feel free to share what other perspectives you think one could have on any of the situations on, and ills plaguing, this Earth which do not directly relate to the mistreatment, neglect and abuse of children. I would like to know what you think the basic roots of these issues are, if not what I have outlined, and how you would contend with issues such as overpopulation, warfare, maliciousness, degeneration, etc. if not by properly educating and raising children. Peace; - Gaia | ||
Gaiawingz Member Post Number: 53 Registered: 01-2008 |
Also; With regard to every perspective having some validity and advantage of its own... Does the perspective of a cannibal have any validity or advantage? From a cannibal's perspective, eating other human beings (babies, adults, adolescents or otherwise) is a jolly good way of life. So what is advantageous or valid about this perspective? One could call a dog a cat, or a rose a dandelion, but will that change the nature of either of these things? I think not. Peace; - Gaia | ||
Michael Member Post Number: 800 Registered: 10-2000 |
Hi Gaia, I very much appreciate your advocacy for children and their rights. I know that you are a young person yourself and I would indeed like to know if you are doing teaching, childcare, assisting, etc. with/for children now. Perhaps you are also inspiring/encouraging other young people in this direction as well. And I do think that you and Indi are energetically contributing to the discussion in wonderful ways. Michael Horn | ||
Michael Member Post Number: 804 Registered: 10-2000 |
Gaia, Maybe you missed my post. I hope that I didn't ask you anything that you think is too personal it's just that I'm not aware of too many (any) young people who seem as proactive and passionate about the subject. I am curious as to how you are working with this in the world, experiences, resistance, acceptance, etc. Michael Horn | ||
Gaiawingz Member Post Number: 62 Registered: 01-2008 |
Michael; I have sent a response off-forum, as I don't really wish to disclose personal details to random members of this forum and others who do not know me and therefore really do not need to be privy to my personal affairs. At any rate, I got your auto-response from michael@theyfly.com so if you have another address you'd rather use, or if you'd just like to check through there (my email address has my name clearly attached to it, 'Gaia Rady') -- that should suffice to answer your questions I think. Peace; - Gaia | ||
Enlightenedatlast Member Post Number: 10 Registered: 06-2009 |
Good Day Everyone: Gaia, I'd like to say that I enjoy reading your posts. You have a ton of knowledge and I feel that even I can benefit from it. I am a parent and aunt. I am not perfect, as no one is, but I do my best to make not only my children happy and knowledgeable, but also the children of others. My son (who is 12) and I are reading Mr. Meiers Teachings, together. I have found that since him and I are sharing this experience, he has been much more receptive. My husband on the other hand, well, how can I put this? Well, he's a jerk really. As I read and see everywhere, adult couples, married couples are more and more, these days, getting divorced or breaking-up. I feel, in my situation, my husband adds negativity even when I continue to stay positive. My husband lashes out at my 12 year old son every chance he gets and my 3 year old daughter can empathize, she tells her father to shush and be quiet, stop yelling. I have tried to control the situation and he screams at me. I don't feel like it is an option to stay with someone who is constantly negative. (There is much more to the situation, but not to get into it here) I am at the point where I feel that leaving would be the best thing for my children and myself and our growth. Mr. Meier and yourself along with many others here (J_rod), have inspired me to do better and be the best mother I can be. I agree that being honest with children is important and you gain respect from them as I have seen with my children as well as other children. I feel like "a mother hen", but I love it! Any advice is greatly appreciated. In Truth and Love, Amanda  | ||
J_rod7 Member Post Number: 939 Registered: 10-2007 |
***** Hello Amanda, To assist you in an unsavory position, to make a very difficult decision in respect to: "...the situation and he screams at me. I don't feel like it is an option to stay with someone who is constantly negative." I have found some relevance in the Words from Jmmanuel: TJ 20:3-5 The Pharisees approached him and tempted him by asking, "Is it right for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?" He answered, saying, "Truly, I say to you, stars would sooner fall from the sky than for divorce to be permissible. Truly, a person will leave father and mother for the sake of marriage and will cling to their spouse, so as to become one flesh and blood." TJ 20:6-8 "So they are now no longer two, but one flesh and blood, which is uniquely theirs. From one flesh and blood they bring forth offspring, who again are of the same flesh and blood as their father and mother. What has been joined together in this way, man shall not part, because it is against the laws of nature." The choice to get married is that of the man and woman involved, or in some cases, the choice of a parent. To say "God has joined them together" is no different than to say that everything that happens is due to God, which then lacks any substance. However, we are so used to accepting this marriage-vow sentence in a sacred sense that we scarcely stop to think about it or question its significance. The Creation has imbued every Human offspring of it's Spirit with Free-Will, independence in all actions, the Right to Choose for oneself the path to Truth, be it in marriage or to end the marriage, an independent right to find and apply Wisdom in all aspects of Life. Jmmanuel evoked the laws of nature here, which would be interpreted as follows. Most paired creatures of opposite sex, throughout the animal kingdom, will if necessary defend their status as mates, so that, if violence is to be avoided, others should not interfere with the pairing up. Of course, the TJ verse does additionally mention that out of marriage comes genetically related offspring. It is interesting to contemplate this verse, TJ 20:7, because the outlook in which the mother is to be given a status as a bloodline parent equal to that of the father. A little further in the TJ, Jmmanuel qualifies his advice against divorce TJ 20:9-11 Then they asked, "Why did Moses command that a decree of annulment be issued in case of divorce?" He spoke to them, "Moses gave you permission to divorce because of the hardness of your hearts and his dominion over you. But such has not been the case from the beginning of human species, for Moses has broken a law in this instance. But I say to you, whoever divorces, except for fornication or the other stipulated transgressions, and marries someone else, commits adultery." "Other stipulated transgressions" is quite broad. In my opinion, this would include a situation of insecurity in the Home, as for instance, one mate making threats against the other, where Love has been replaced by spite, ignorance, hate and intractable intolerance. No one should have to accept an atmosphere in the Home contrary to the maintenance of the marriage bonds, where the possibility of full reconciliation is beyond hope. This becomes the final question(s), then: Will your husband accept Marriage Counseling? Are there any areas of common agreement between both of you? Is there any basis for Mutual Respect? Does the possibility of reconciliation exist? Is it yet possible for Love to be restored in the Marriage? Your decision rests in the answers. Be sure to have Legal protection for yourself and your children. TJ 20:16-18,26 Then children were brought to him, so that he would lay his hands on them and bless them, but the disciples rebuked them. However, Jmmanuel spoke, "Let the children be and do not hinder them from coming to me, because they are my most attentive listeners, and theirs is the realm of wisdom." And he laid his hands upon them and said, "Learn knowledge and wisdom to become perfect in consciousness, and true followers of the law...." And he laid his hands upon them and departed from there. http://www.tjresearch.info/mt19.htm Then find yourselves in a place of Peace. Find Love and Light upon your Path ***** You say you want an Evolution, well you know, we're all doing what we can. -(Beatles revamped) Rod | ||
Paarth Member Post Number: 13 Registered: 02-2009 |
Hi Amanda, I must say that I understand at least in part the emotions you must be going through. Before making any definitive conclusions about your relationship, ponder the spiritual teachings, read and read and read and ponder a bit more. Try to achieve an elevation in thinking about the situation so you can view it without the clouds of emotions. Regardless, you will eventually find your way and in the truth in that alone may give you strength. I'm sure you will arrive at the right conclusion for yourself and family. Best, Paarth | ||
Marcela Member Post Number: 183 Registered: 06-2008 |
Greetings Amanda: Nice to see you on the forum and I want to tell you that I am a mom too. I know how difficult it is to raise children these days. My husband and I got along very well and everything was a breeze until we had our baby. Having a baby added a lot of pressure to our marriage and we don’t have family or friends that help us too often. Nevertheless, we always compromised to fix whatever we do wrong and treat each other with a lot of respect. We promised to each other to never curse for example. Unfortunately, my husband does not embrace Billy’s teachings; he respects my views though. If your husband got to a point that he is not being reasonable, he won’t dialog, you have to find another solution. Here I have to make an observation and a correction to Rod’s quotation of the TJ. Billy was asked once if Jmmanuel said that divorce is never permissible under not even under certain circumstances, and Billy explained that Jmmanuel was saying that divorce can never exist when there is real love. Real love can never be terminated. Billy explained that we on earth don’t know what real love is and that we can divorce of course if that is the only solution. Billy himself is divorced. Amanda, if you feel like writing me if you want, you can do so at emayl4u@hotmail.com. Salome, Marcela. | ||
Gaiawingz Member Post Number: 75 Registered: 01-2008 |
Amanda; I have a lot of experience in dealing with irrational and otherwise insane individuals. Although I do not remotely know all the details of your situation, I do recommend that if your husband has serious emotional issues (as constant screaming, especially at children, would indicate) and will not consider help or even acknowledge them, you figure out a way to separate from him. When it comes to truly irrational/insane individuals, there truly isn't much you can do to help them. Someone that far gone is virtually lost to the efforts of anyone, no matter how well-meaning they are. To give you an example, my own mother is extremely unstable and insane, completely out of control emotionally, and living with her (she screamed constantly, in addition to many other unsavoury behaviours) was literally like living in the midst of an emotional hurricane, and she was always in the centre. These people are centres for distress, disharmony, destruction, emotional torment, etc. and unfortunately they must be left to self-destruct. (On that note, I truly would rather have the capability of isolating these individuals from society for their own good as well as that of everyone else, but such a system is not in place, so for the time being one can only stay as far distant from such people as one can.) Now, that said, your husband may not be completely insane and lost. I recommend looking over the website www.eqi.org -- although the gentleman who runs it and writes everything has some emotional issues of his own, he has compiled quite a database of case studies and sage observations/insights about emotional abuse and such. It can seem aimed more at teenagers, but I think there is information there of worth to just about anyone, especially someone living in the US. I also recommend getting a copy of the 'Quick Reference to the Diagnostic Criteria from DSM-IV-TR' -- available on Amazon and probably on half.com as well. There's the larger, and twice as expensive, version which is basically a textbook, but this book will teach you a great deal about psychological disorders if you've never really thought much about them. Of course, once you identify what disorder(s) someone is suffering from, you can then look into specific books which will give more detail about the symptoms/lifestyle and treatment methods, etc. Peace; - Gaia | ||
Matthew_justin_deagle Member Post Number: 97 Registered: 05-2009 |
Amanda, If you read German, I recommend reading the sections on divorce in 'Kelch der Wahrheit'. Divorce is not truly a divorce in the sense described in the Talmud Jmmanuel, if the partners are not in fact in evolutive love with one another. 'Gesetz der Liebe' also discusses this. If your husband does not evolutively/truly love you (was/is in sentimental love with you, which he seems to be) and you are not in evolutive love with him, a legal divorce and separation is necessary, and not merely permissable. Two persons cannot fulfill marriage without sincere spiritual love, which, however, once present, binds you forever to a man whom you may not ever divorce in that case. Salome, - Matthew |
