| Author | Message | ||
    Larra |
Hello! Is it possible to open up a new discussion topic dedicated to children and parenting? I'd love to hear the viewpoints of Mr. Meier, the Plejarans and the FIGU on these important topics and to share experiences with other parents! I'm the mother of two, young, strong-willed children that I dearly love. They are the light of my life. However, I'm having great difficulty handling them. They won't listen to or obey me, nor will they do hardly anything for themselves (outside of playing). Overall, I feel I've probably been too lax with them concerning structure and discipline. I don't like to be authoritarian and use force, but more and more, this is the only way to get a response. I'm afraid of causing harm to their still-forming psyches, but if this will ultimately be more beneficial in the long run, then I'll do what is best. Appreciatively yours, Larra | ||
James Roy Mizar |
I'm not a parent, I do have a niece and nephew I love them dearly and they love me equally though unfortunatly I have caused some damage to there already fragile psyches, (my psyche is also damaged I do use meditation and concentration to try and repair the damage) I want to help correct the damage I've done (I understand the plajarns much better from this) I also know that the parents are who brings them the definition, freedom and "magic" of creation, the situation has changed and the parents are divorced so now I feel a needing to help them, I realised I have to help myself before I can trully help them, they know I'm there and that I care how there doing and love them. I also apreciate larra's letter, this forum is evolving and I've been reading from almost it's debut, I hope someday everyone will be able to communicate to her/his fellow man the way this forum does!!!!!!! Salome James p.s Safe Journey | ||
Savio |
Hi Larra I do have children of my own and fully understand of your problem. Perhaps it is the same problem of many parents. I believe "Spare the rod, spoil the child" is truth in most situations. Jmmanuel has mentioned that children are most eager to learn. It is because they process very little knowledge and do not know how to behave as well. It is where the parents who come into the picture. We should look straight into their eyes and tell them what is right and what is wrong so that they can learn and follow. I agree to the idea of James that we should prepare ourselves well in order to be able to set examples and teach. I think the way of education that letting the children "free run" is wrong to some degree and created a lot of problem children. Yes, letting those well behaved children free run is creative( they are born with that kind of character, perhaps their spirits are better evolved ) , however, most children must be guided because bad behaviours are most easily established. In many cases, children are too young to accept our reasoning and explanations. Say if we tell them "If you do not study hard, you will have a bad future", they could not understand and of course will ignore what we said. Until then, discipline is one of the ways out. Regards Savio | ||
Larra |
Hello Savio, What is your opinion about children viewing television? My pre-schoolers are now very much interested in cartoons and fantasy-action entertainment. "Power Rangers" are their favorites this month. Unfortunately, violence and other negative themes abound in these shows. I know my needs are supposed to come first, but my children are a very close second. More-and-more, however, it has become a habit to put on the television for them when I need to get chores done around the house. I'd prefer to let them play by themselves in the yard or basement, but they still need my supervision. They do play with their toys indoors with less supervision, but if I'm not on my toes, the play often degenerates into picking at each other and fighting. I hate to admit it, but the TV often placates them and affords me a little peace and quiet. These beautiful children are my karmic responsibility, and I feel I owe them more than the TV provides. What alternatives do you recommend to keep them busy but safe when I can't supervise them directly? Has anyone else successfully dealt with this issue? Appreciatively, Larra | ||
Savio |
Hi Larra We parents usually face the same problems as you do. But in fact they are two seperate problems, 1. TV 2. Children behavior. As for TV viewing, unless we decided to lead an isloated live, we cannot totally get rid of violence, not even the Disney films. Well, I think as long as the cartoons are not promoting evil acts and the heros are fighting for justice and the protection of the earth.... it would be acceptable. In case children imitate and fight against each other(it will happen even they never watch the cartoons), just tell them it is ashamed, good guys only fight for justice and protection of country & home, not for toys....and it hurts your dear dad/mum 's heart. The problem of children behavior is controversial. There is no best way out. However, we can consider the following 3 main tactics- encouragement, make responsible and discipline. Children (we too) like to be praised,it makes them happy/proud and is the prime driving force for them to repeat the good deeds and enhance their behavior. We should appreciate their good behavior on the spot and in public such that they know they did the right thing and is liked by their parents. Encouragement is always the most effective in motivation. It is not only the responsibility of parents in raising children, children have their responsibilities too. They have to comply to the needs of their parents, delight their parents, look after the smaller ones, manage their toys...start making them responsible for some tasks. Say award TV viewing for finish packing up their toys. Encouragement is hard earned and cannot be take it as granted. Discipline is very efficient especially for little ones, however, we have to make sure that our way of doing is effective, that is we should make known to them what is wrong, why is it wrong, what is our expectation, they should accept punishment and say sorry. Baby sitter is the only alternative, there is no better way than keeping an eye on the kids by ourselves. Well, be patient, situation will improve in a year or two  Regards Savio | ||
James Roy Mizar |
Punishment for mistakes does harm (from figu) what I mean is that when a child misbehaves a time out may work wonders along with positive reinforcement (ask your child to sit down for awhile or set a timer for the amount of time or sit with them and read to them or have them read to you) also sit down and talk to them explaining what the mistake was and how to best learn from them and learning from each other is important tooe, childeren can be just as much teachers as students. Best wishes James | ||
Savio |
Hi James I agree to your points that childern can be our teacher too, and your approach to deal with misbehaved children is nice. I think punishment is only applicable when all our positive measures failed. However, I think "punishment for mistakes does harm" may not be completely true. Let's see what Billy said during an interview: "Through mistakes, as a rule, humans tend to suffer some harm and, thus, punish themselves-if one wants to define it as such. But through the harm they suffered, they have already atoned for their mistake and will, subsequently, make an effort to remedy their mistake and the resulting harm associated with it. In so doing, humans learn a lesson from this situation and become more cognizant" I think punishment does exist no matter whether it is self-generated or by law, and it is benefical to our evolution. Perhaps can we say - Properly managed punishment does good and improperly managed punishment does harm? Any comment? Regards Savio | ||
James Roy Mizar |
Savio, I'm glad to read your post, as I pondered my post I realised there might be a better way to have expressed it *s* I'm thanking creation everyday for the oportunities for being able to study, research, and communicate the truth of creation in these discusions. Salome James |
